The ALPHA Net

Ok, so I like to make lists... There is a strange comfort in writing down things that I want to accomplish or perhaps have already done. Today as I was waiting on my lunch I flipped over my receipt and wrote down the gifts I was purchasing for others for Christmas. Granted, most of the items on the list were already purchased, but it helped me see how much I had accomplished to write it out and how much I had left to go. It helped me get organized and make sure no one was left off or short changed in the gift department. I’ve even brained washed my five year old into this practice. In recent past he has been my grocery list checker offer. It helps with his reading skills, not to mention gives him a task while I try to get the items on the list. We have even thrown the list away together at the store just to feel that satisfaction of completion. “We did it! We’re a team.” he says. And we are a team.

Six years ago I was at a much more unorganized time in my life. I had just turned 21, just found out I was pregnant, withdrew from my private liberal arts school, moved home with the parentals and had no job and no plan. I had sunken deep into depression feeling that God had somehow forgotten me and that I could never earn his love back. I remember one very dark day emotionally I had been in bed all day and rolled over to my Bible. I will never forget that moment.

I told God that I had nothing to pray, but needed to hear from Him (now I see how selfish that was). Nevertheless, I was led to Isaiah 54:10. It says, “Though the mountains will be shaken and the earth be moved, my love for you will never end, nor my covenant of peace be removed from you.” At that moment my “list” only included “exist” and “get past today”. After I read the verse my “list” grew and so did my hope. Now it was not a physical list that I was writing, rather mental goals that I desired to accomplish. Over time the list advanced to reading my Bible more often, believing the Bible, getting a job, wrapping my mind around being a parent, etc. It is only now, as I have aged, I see that setting goals for my spiritual life is just as vitally important as those I set for the rest of my life. Goal setting in general has taught me a thing or two. Most of the accomplishments I have achieved in life would not have taken place had it not began as a dream, a small speck on the plane of reality. Now I know through living it that with God “all things truly are possible”. One of my favorite passages right now is found in Isaiah 43. The Message says, “This is what God says, the God who builds a road right through the ocean, who carves a path through pounding waves, the God who summons horses and chariots and armies—they lie down and then can’t get up; they’re snuffed out like so many candles: ‘Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I am about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road in the desert, rivers in the badlands.’” This promise of God is like God saying, “I dare you to hope for more.” He longs to prove his faithfulness to us in the small and the big things. Our heavenly Father wants us to believe so unabashedly in Him that we dare not fear for hoping “too much.” For me right now it’s the selflessness business. Several years ago in my depression era I was in the selfishness business, but God has changed all that. While I am still learning (and failing at times) I see God nudging me to go a step further, whispering, “Go on Christan. I know it doesn’t feel good, but it is good. It’s for my glory.” So, I journey on, learning and trusting.


You may be where I was six years ago. Your list may be very basic. It may be that your next step is to get out of bed. Or quit smoking. Or start eating healthy. Or, simply to be a better friend. Whatever your list includes, God sees it as hope rising in us for change. I pray that as this year kicks off you find yourself inspired, itching to make your latter greater than your past. Go for it!




Written By: Christan Barnett