2011 was not a year I was anticipating, and that countdown on the last day of 2010 made me want to cry. I saw where my life was going and didn't think that the future looked too bright. Most of my circumstances were going haywire and I just wanted to be able to redo the past year. I remember having a mild panic attack as the new year rang in. This year, however, I looked forward to the change of a new year. Have my circumstances changed? Mostly, yes. Some haven't. In fact, a lot of the situations in my life have grown worse since they were in 2010. So what's different? Why did my heart race with anticipation instead of fear?
As I was reading a lot of different statuses on facebook, a recurring theme emerged: people were gauging their years based on situations. Their happiness depended on what they had accomplished or the great things that life had thrown their way. Many people were like I had been; depressed that they had not accomplished what they set out to do. I was thinking about that as I was driving down the road on the way to a friend's house last night I was thinking about the year 2011 and was literally overwhelmed with the goodness of God that I almost had to pull off the road and cry. I don't have happiness from this past year; I have joy. And that joy nobody can rob.
This past year, I learned some huge lessons. I learned that when I'm really in need, God won't abandon me. And neither will my church family.
I learned that when I don't constantly fill my life with Jesus, I will try to find that satisfaction wherever I can. After that lesson I learned that God's mercies are new EVERY morning and He LOVES to receive a truly repentant heart.
I learned what it is to have others come along and lift your arms in battle when you're simply too tired to keep them up.
I learned what it's like to have a small group leader who doesn't give up on me even when I feel like giving up on myself. A leader who loves me in spite of my shortcomings.
I learned that I can hear the most devastating news of my life and that I can still praise my God and thank Him for His goodness. And in that terrible moment, I learned what it truly means to have people who stick by you in the good times and the bad. I have seen the body of Christ, the body of New Hope, truly be the hands and feet and help hurting people.
I have learned that joy beats happiness any day.
What have you learned this year? Where has God been your joy and source of strength?
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